crawl first

It's funny when people in your life tell you certain things over and over and then all of a sudden one day you get it. What's so obvious to others isn't always so clear to us at first. While I'm racing around trying to get the most out of life, I end up becoming so totally oblivious to what's literally right in front of my face. We all do it, we focus on things we think are so important that the seemingly smaller things get lost. Out of the many things I have become almost too aware of recently is how the expectations I have for myself are affecting my ability to grow in any one direction. I manage to sprout off in multiple directions and instead of nourishing myself at the root, I start planting new seeds. Sometimes even picking up and starting whole new gardens. While I've had a lot of fun enjoying the excitement of the planting process, I've never actually given myself a chance to grow what I originally started. I expect myself to be a full grown tree once I plant the seed...which when I think about it that way, it seems completely ridiculous. My mom told me I was always that way. For years she's been telling me that it started even as a baby. I didn't want to crawl and then walk, I just wanted to get up and walk...that led to just as much frustration as I've experienced each time I do something similar. It seems like the only thing to do now is pay attention to wanting to skip the process and allow myself to be right where I am. At the moment, I'm enjoying the process of allowing myself to experience what I feel, or think without trying to change, to just let it be there until its time for it to take a new form. I will most definitely be needing reminders along the way...